Navigating Parental Anxiety: Mirror Neurons and Coregulation as Tools for Support

Hi everyone. I'm Kristen, the anxiety therapist. Today I want to talk about parenting anxiety. This is such a loaded topic and I can probably make a year's worth of videos about this and who knows? Maybe I will. But today, I just want to focus more on the topics of mirror neurons and co-regulation as tools for support.

I know we often hear about parenting as being this profound journey that's filled with boundless love and measurable joy and fulfilling growth. While that's all true, it's also a path paved with a lot of challenges and uncertainties, and for some people or at certain times, it really overwhelming anxiety.

As a parent, it's natural to experience moments of worry and stress. But when that anxiety sort of becomes constant, it can really impact our well-being and our ability to parent in a healthy way.

In this video, I want to dive into the topic of parenting anxiety and explore these fascinating concepts of mirror neurons and how important co-regulation is in managing and alleviating these anxieties. I only work with adults right now. But the first half of my career was spent working with kids and teens. So I was able to witness firsthand just how important emotional regulation and just emotional intelligence is. If we struggle with that as adults, then it's hard to teach that to our kids. And obviously, they don't have, they aren't equipped with the knowledge or the resources that we have.

It is our job to teach our kids those things. As somebody who has struggled with anxiety my whole life and experienced postpartum anxiety after both of my kids were born. I think this is just a topic that needs to be talked about more because people especially parenting nowadays in this digital era where there's so much technology and we're ripe for comparison it really can take a toll on you.

So just in terms of understanding parenting anxiety is a common human experience. And so as parents, we're not exempt from that and we have the responsibility of caring for a child's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can really kind of trigger a range of concerns, especially if we had some family dynamics that were unhealthy becoming a parent can really bring these to the forefront.

And so we often find ourselves worrying about their safety, health, future, et cetera to being overwhelmed by the weight of making what we think are the right decisions. We often find ourselves sort of caught in the grip of anxiety. When we're talking about mirror neurons, these are neurons in our brains that are specialized cells that fire, not only when we perform an action, but also when we observe someone else performing the same action.

These little tiny neurons enable us to empathize with others and mirror their experiences in emotions within ourselves. When it comes to being a parent, these mirror neurons play a really significant role in shaping our reactions and our responses to the emotional states of our Children.

So as parents our kids are constantly observing and learning from us, they pick up on our emotional cues, even at a very young age, kids are so observant and then they reflect them back to us. If we're feeling anxious, we are likely to sense this unease, which can lead to a cycle of heightened anxiety. And then conversely, if we can cultivate a sense of calm and regulate our own emotions, then our kids are more likely to mirror those emotions contributing to just a more harmonious parent, child relationship.

This brings us to the topic of Typically, that's going to be a parent or caregiver, it could be a teacher or a grandparent and whomever. And so this adult provides a secure and nurturing environment and in doing so parents can support their Children in managing their emotions effectively.

When parents feel anxious, it can really disrupt this co-regulation process and make it more challenging for kids to self-regulate. On the other hand, parents who practice self-care and really prioritize their well-being can create a more stable emotional foundation for their Children.

I think, over the years, there's sort of been this message that parents should be completely selfless and sort of set their needs aside for their Children. And while that's true to a certain degree, it's also important that we take care of ourselves so that we can create this stable emotional foundation for our Children. We do this by effectively managing our own anxiety and seeking healthy coping mechanisms such as practicing mindfulness or utilizing social support or engaging in some sort of physical activity and just in, in taking care of ourselves, we can then help support our Children better.

If you've been on an airplane and they tell you to put your oxygen mask off first before you put it on your child, you know, if you are not functioning, then you can't possibly help your child function. So just think of it that way, like you have to take care of yourself in order to be an effective parent.

So just a few strategies for me to manage parenting anxiety, one is cultivating self-awareness. So we want to recognize and acknowledge our anxiety triggers and thought patterns and this awareness is really the first step toward making positive changes.

We want to practice self-care. Prioritizing your physical and mental well-being, engaging in activities that recharge you, whether that's exercising or a particular hobby, or spending time with friends or family seeking support. So really, you know, you might have a support system but really utilizing that is a different thing.

So really reaching out to friends or family or support groups who can offer a listening ear and reassurance and sharing those worries, which can really just kind of normalize them and you know, you can relate to other people and it can really kind of lighten the burden. Embracing mindfulness, so if you can incorporate some mindfulness or meditation practices into your daily routine, that can be very helpful techniques like deep breathing grounding exercises. As I mentioned meditation, and things like that can really help manage anxiety in the present moment and then model emotional regulation shows. So showing your Children healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety because they really learn best by observing and mirroring your actions.

So just remember, parenting anxiety is a shared experience. But for some people, it feels just a little heavier and more profound, especially if you tend to be more sensitive to sensory experiences. So some people get triggered by lots of loud noises or the house being a mess that can really kind of amp up anxiety when it comes to parenting.

But just understanding the impact of mirror neurons and the importance of co-regulation, I think can help us sort of take a step back and just create awareness about how we're responding to our own anxiety and to our kids’ emotions.

And that can just kind of help everybody be a little bit more calm and harmonious. So I would love to hear about your own struggles and challenges that you've had. With parenting anxiety. I would love for you to ask questions if you have questions about anything I've talked about today. And then you know, feel free to, visit my website Cathartic space counseling dot com to get other resources and just see if I can help in any other way. Thanks for watching. I hope you all have a great week.