The Origins of Imposter Syndrome: Understanding Where Self-Doubt Comes From (Part 2)
In Part 1, we explored what Imposter Syndrome is, how it manifests in different ways, and why so many high-achievers feel like they don’t deserve their success. Now, it’s time to dig into why these feelings arise in the first place. Imposter Syndrome doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—it often has deep roots in our past experiences, family dynamics, and the way we see the world.
Understanding where these feelings come from is essential for figuring out how to deal with them. So let’s take a closer look at the common sources of Imposter Syndrome and how they shape our sense of self.
Root Causes of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is a mix of learned behavior, cognitive biases, and environmental influences. There isn’t a single reason people feel like frauds, but several factors tend to contribute to these feelings. The most common causes are related to family dynamics, social comparisons, and perfectionism. Let’s break each of these down.
1. Family of Origin
Our earliest experiences with self-worth and success are often shaped by our family. If you grew up in a family where achievement was highly valued, you might have learned that your worth is tied to how much you accomplish. This often happens in homes where parents have high expectations or are particularly critical. When you’re constantly striving to meet others’ expectations, it becomes easy to internalize the idea that nothing you do is ever good enough.
Some people grow up being praised for specific qualities, like being “the smart one” or “the responsible one.” On the surface, this seems positive, but it can create a lot of pressure. If you’re constantly praised for being intelligent, for example, you might start to believe that any struggle or mistake means you’re not living up to that label. As a result, when things don’t come easily, you might feel like a fraud.
On the flip side, some families don’t offer much recognition or support at all. If your accomplishments were ignored or downplayed growing up, it’s easy to develop a mindset where you feel like your successes don’t count or aren’t “real.” This can lead to chronic feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt later in life, even when you’re objectively successful.
Example:
Imagine growing up with parents who expected you to get perfect grades. Even when you got an A-minus, it wasn’t good enough. Now, in adulthood, you might feel like any small mistake at work reflects on your overall competence. This learned pressure to be perfect can easily morph into Imposter Syndrome when you feel like you’re never truly “meeting the mark.”
2. Social Comparisons
We live in a world where comparing ourselves to others is practically unavoidable. Whether it’s through social media, at work, or even among friends, it’s easy to look at others and feel like they have everything together while you’re struggling behind the scenes. This is especially true in environments where success is highly visible, such as competitive workplaces or industries where reputation matters.
What makes this worse is that social comparisons are often unfair. We tend to compare our internal struggles to other people’s external successes. On platforms like LinkedIn or Instagram, for example, we only see the polished highlights of other people’s lives, not the messy parts. Meanwhile, we’re fully aware of our own challenges, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt. This creates a gap between how we see ourselves and how we assume others are doing, leading to feelings of inferiority.
Social comparisons can be especially brutal for high achievers. In environments where everyone is pushing themselves to excel, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one struggling, even though many of your peers likely feel the same way. The more you compare yourself to others’ successes, the more you feel like you’re falling behind.
Example:
You land a great new job and feel excited, but then you see on social media that a friend just got promoted to a C-suite role. Instead of feeling proud of your own achievement, you feel like you’re not doing enough. This constant comparison can feed into Imposter Syndrome by making you feel like you’re never quite measuring up.
3. Perfectionism
Perfectionism is one of the biggest drivers of Imposter Syndrome. Perfectionists set unrealistically high standards for themselves and believe that anything less than flawless is a failure. This mindset makes it nearly impossible to feel satisfied with your accomplishments because no matter how well you do, there’s always something that could have been better.
The issue with perfectionism is that it creates a no-win situation. Even when you succeed, you don’t allow yourself to celebrate because you’re too focused on the areas where you fell short. Over time, this leads to a sense that you’re “faking” your success, because in your mind, it’s never quite good enough to be considered real.
Perfectionism often stems from early experiences, whether it’s being held to high standards as a child or developing a fear of failure. When you’re constantly trying to live up to an impossible ideal, it reinforces the belief that you’re not truly capable, which is a core aspect of Imposter Syndrome.
Example:
You just completed a big project at work and got positive feedback from your boss. But instead of feeling accomplished, you’re obsessing over the one slide in your presentation that had a grammatical error. Even though no one else noticed, you’re stuck in the mindset that your work wasn’t good enough, and this reinforces the feeling that you’re not really cut out for your role.
Personal Reflections: Where Do Your Imposter Feelings Come From?
Understanding the roots of Imposter Syndrome isn’t just an academic exercise—it’s a powerful tool for self-awareness. The more you can pinpoint where your feelings of inadequacy come from, the easier it is to challenge them. Below are a few reflection prompts to help you think about how your own experiences might have contributed to these feelings.
Family Expectations:
Did your parents or family members place a lot of emphasis on achievement?
Were you praised for certain qualities, like being smart or responsible?
How did your family react when you made mistakes or didn’t live up to expectations?
Social Comparisons:
When do you find yourself comparing your success to others?
Do you compare your struggles to others’ successes, especially on social media?
How often do these comparisons lead you to feel like you’re falling behind, even when you’re doing well?
Perfectionism:
Can you think of a time when you succeeded at something but couldn’t feel proud because it wasn’t “perfect”?
Do you frequently focus on your mistakes or shortcomings rather than the overall success?
How often do you hold yourself to standards that no one else expects from you?
Taking the time to reflect on these questions can help you see the patterns in your thinking and behavior that contribute to Imposter Syndrome. These insights will be crucial for working through these feelings in the next stage of your journey.
Knowing where your Imposter Syndrome comes from is essential for overcoming it. Whether it’s rooted in your family dynamics, driven by social comparisons, or fueled by perfectionism, understanding the cause is the first step to sidestepping these feelings.
In Part 3, we’ll explore practical tools and strategies to overcome Imposter Syndrome. From changing your mindset to specific actions you can take, we’ll cover how to build confidence, let go of unrealistic standards, and finally stop feeling like a fraud. Stay tuned!
