What to Do If You Have a Fear of Flying – Without the Xanax and White Knuckles
Many people experience fear when they fly, even if they understand that statistically, it’s one of the safest ways to travel. Fear of flying, or aviophobia, can create significant stress, from nervous anticipation days before a trip to full-blown panic during turbulence. Thankfully, there are effective, science-backed techniques to make the experience easier. This blog will explore why fear of flying happens, and break down tools that can help you manage it, allowing you to fly with more serenity.
Why Do We Fear Flying?
Fear of flying stems from several common concerns, often blending physical discomfort and psychological triggers. Many people feel anxious because of the lack of control—flying is one of the few times we put our safety completely in someone else’s hands. Others feel claustrophobic due to the confined space, or worry about something going wrong despite the extremely low risk.
Fear responses are natural because they’re hardwired in our brains to protect us from threats. When the brain perceives a threat, it triggers the fight-or-flight response: stress hormones like adrenaline flood the system, causing symptoms like a racing heart, shallow breathing, and muscle tension. These physical responses, while meant to help in actual danger, only increase anxiety during a flight. Let’s dive into practical techniques to manage this anxiety effectively, starting with grounding exercises and working through methods you can use at every stage of your journey.
1. Grounding Techniques for In-Flight Anxiety
Grounding techniques are designed to keep you focused on the present, helping to shift your attention away from anxious thoughts and onto immediate, physical sensations. One of the most widely used grounding techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 method, which involves noticing specific things around you to help bring your attention back to the present. Here’s how it works:
5: Name five things you can see around you. (This could be the seat in front of you, the tray table, the overhead light, etc.)
4: Touch four things around you, such as your seatbelt, the fabric of your seat, or the cool metal of the armrest.
3: Listen for three sounds you can hear, whether it’s the hum of the engine, the voices of nearby passengers, or the flight attendants moving through the aisle.
2: Identify two scents around you, even if they’re faint (airplane air, hand sanitizer, or your perfume/cologne).
1: Note one taste, like a snack or drink you have with you.
This exercise helps create a clear “here and now” focus, shifting your mind away from fears about what might happen in the future. Grounding techniques are simple to remember and can be repeated anytime you feel your anxiety ramping up.
2. Deep Breathing to Calm the Nervous System
One of the best ways to manage anxiety in any setting, including in-flight, is through deep breathing. When we’re anxious, we tend to breathe in shallow, rapid breaths, which can increase symptoms of panic like lightheadedness and chest tightness. Deep breathing counters these effects by slowing your heart rate and calming the body.
A helpful exercise is Box Breathing, which can be discreetly done in your seat and has been shown to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of our nervous system responsible for relaxation. Here’s how it works:
Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
Hold your breath for four counts.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for four counts.
Hold your breath again for four counts.
This rhythmic breathing technique can help you feel more in control of your body and, by extension, your emotions. Repeating this cycle a few times can reduce feelings of panic, making it easier to manage in-flight anxiety.
3. Coping Ahead: A Tool for Anticipatory Anxiety
If you feel anxious long before you even get to the airport, Coping Ahead is a fantastic tool to help you prepare mentally for what’s to come. Derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this technique involves mentally rehearsing how you’ll handle situations that might trigger anxiety. Coping Ahead helps reduce anticipatory anxiety and builds confidence in your ability to manage the fear.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to apply this strategy:
Step 1: Describe the Situation
Identify the specific part of the flight that triggers the most anxiety for you, such as turbulence or takeoff. Write down the exact scenario, as this helps narrow the focus and prevents vague fears from spiraling.
Check the facts: Remind yourself of flying’s safety record, which consistently shows that it’s one of the safest forms of travel.
Step 2: Decide on Coping Skills
Decide exactly which skills you’ll use if you start feeling anxious. For example, if turbulence is a major concern, plan to use Box Breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 method to help you stay grounded and calm.
Having a clear plan gives you mental tools to rely on in the moment, which are often difficult to recall when fear takes over.
Step 3: Imagine the Situation Vividly
Mentally place yourself in the exact situation you described—feeling the plane take off, the hum of the engines, or a slight bump in turbulence. Imagine as if it’s happening now, in the present tense.
This visualization helps make the situation familiar, reducing its power to surprise or overwhelm you.
Step 4: Rehearse Coping Steps
Walk through each coping action in your mind. Picture yourself reaching for your water bottle, focusing on your breathing, and practicing the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.
This rehearsal helps to ingrain the response, building confidence in your ability to handle the situation calmly.
4. Reframing Anxious Thoughts with CBT Techniques
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques are often helpful for challenging “what-if” thoughts. The goal here is to take specific fearful thoughts, like “What if the plane crashes?” and replace them with fact-based thoughts.
One effective way to do this is to write down your anxious thoughts and challenge them directly. For example:
Fearful Thought: “What if the plane crashes?”
Counter-Thinking: “Statistically, flying is the safest way to travel. Pilots are highly trained, and planes are built to withstand turbulence.”
Reframing fears with logic helps counteract the brain’s tendency to catastrophize. Many people find that simply looking at these facts reduces the emotional charge of fearful thoughts, making them easier to manage.
5. Use Technology for Distraction
Sometimes the best way to handle fear is to distract your mind with something engaging. Distraction techniques are easy to implement on a plane, thanks to smartphones, tablets, and in-flight entertainment options.
Consider downloading a calming app like Calm or Insight Timer, which have guided meditations specifically designed for in-flight anxiety.
Bring noise-canceling headphones and curate a relaxing playlist or pick a lighthearted show or podcast to immerse yourself in.
Keeping your brain occupied with something enjoyable reduces its capacity to focus on anxiety, making distraction a great short-term solution for managing fear during the flight.
6. Understanding Turbulence (and Why It’s Normal)
For many people, turbulence is a major trigger for flying anxiety, so understanding what turbulence is and why it’s normal can help reduce fear. Turbulence is simply the movement of air currents that the plane moves through, and it’s very similar to waves moving a boat. Planes are designed to withstand turbulence, and pilots are trained to handle it.
Sitting by the wing on a plane is often considered the best seat for people with flight anxiety because it generally experiences less turbulence compared to other parts of the aircraft, as the wings are located near the plane's center of gravity, making the ride feel smoother during flight fluctuations.
Remind yourself that the sensation of turbulence is uncomfortable but not dangerous. It’s a normal part of flying that pilots monitor and manage as part of their job.
Final Thoughts
Remember that flying is incredibly safe. Statistically, the chance of a plane crash is around 1 in 11 million, and flying remains one of the safest ways to travel. Pilots and airline staff undergo rigorous training, and every aspect of a flight follows strict safety protocols.
Managing a fear of flying is a journey, but it doesn’t have to prevent you from enjoying travel. By using grounding techniques and specific tools like Coping Ahead, you can find ways to make the experience more manageable. With time, practice, and the right preparation, each flight will become a little easier. The more flights you take, the more exposure you get, and the more you will become desensitized to your fear of flying.
Give these strategies a try on your next flight. The more you use them, the more confident you’ll feel about staying calm.
