How to change your behavior/habits - Video transcript

Hey everyone, I'm Kristen, the anxiety therapist, and today I want to talk about how to change a behavior or habit and this can be either the removal of something or the implementation of something. So for example, if we're talking about removal, I have a client who drinks a lot of coffee and wants to start reducing the amount of caffeine he consumes each day until he no longer consumes caffeine at all. So that would be the removal of something.

I have another client who wants to start a daily meditation practice and signed up for a 30 day challenge through the calm app. And so she's trying to implement something new, a new habit right into her routine, so it can kind of be either or, and I work with a lot of anxious perfectionists and so a lot of times these folks have a really hard time implementing and sticking with a habit often because they bite off more than they can chew and they get really motivated, they'll go on sort of this self improvement binge and try to make too many changes at once and they might, they might be able to do it for a few weeks, but then ultimately everything kind of falls by the wayside.

Perfectionists can get kind of stuck in this all or nothing thinking, feeling like like the circumstances need to kind of be perfect in order for them to, to start something to start a behavioral change or a new habit and there's also the issue of procrastination, so a lot of perfectionists get stuck in this procrastination phase again because they're sort of looking for perfect circumstances or the two other factors that can contribute to procrastination is feeling overwhelmed.

So if the goal is kind of too big or has too many facets, maybe we don't know how to break it down into smaller pieces or or even where to begin taking a step toward meeting that goal. The other part of procrastination is if the goal is a little too ambiguous, so goals need to be really specific and clearly defined and measurable.

So if our goal is to get her healthy in the new year, what does that even mean? What are we specifically referring to? Is that referring to eating habits? Is it referring to exercise? Is it referring to mental health maybe starting therapy? That could be a whole slew of different things.

So one thing to remember if you find yourself getting stuck in making behavioral changes is that humans, we just naturally like what's familiar. So any sort of change is going to feel difficult even if we are motivated because we naturally gravitate back towards what we know and what feels comfortable and familiar.

So just to keep that in mind and to remind yourself that motivation often follows action. So a lot of times we think that we have to feel motivated to do something in order to follow through with it, but a lot of times if we can just commit to acting um and doing something, then we find that the motivation will sort of come afterwards.

So let's say I want to, you know, start using this peloton behind me that I haven't been on in months, which is, this is actually a true scenario for me. So I might want to start way smaller than I think in my perfectionistic mind, it's like I'm going to work out for 30 minutes every day and get back on the saddle and just just go with it.

But I really need to start. Much smaller than I think. So my goal might be okay. I maybe I don't feel super motivated to do this, but I'm going to commit to hopping on the peloton for five minutes each day and while I don't feel motivated to do that right now, if I make it consistent and I follow through with just that small little um increment of time that five minutes, then I'm much more likely to stick with it. I also don't want to change anything else I want to um start with one change and then concentrate my efforts on that change.

So if I'm trying to start working out again, I'm not going to do anything that's affecting you know, changing my diet or or any of the other things that I mentioned to get healthier, I'm just going to focus on that one behavior that I want to change and then once I feel I've mastered that, then move on to the next.

So I hope this was helpful and just kind of shifting the way you think about changing behavior or changing habits because it's really challenging and it takes at least um, like 21 days or so for a habit to start feeling more natural and for it to feel like it's integrated into your daily routine.

So if you found this video helpful, I have a bunch more on my website, which is cathartic space counseling dot com. Or you can also subscribe to my youtube channel, which is at the anxiety therapist or follow me on facebook or instagram at cathartic space counseling. And I put out new content each week.

So I hope you find the videos helpful and feel free to leave a comment or ask a question. If you have one, I hope you hope you all have a great week and I'll see you next time.