Understanding and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: The Psychology Behind Feeling Like a Fraud

Dec 4

Have you ever walked into a meeting, classroom, or networking event and thought, "I don’t belong here. Everyone is going to figure out I have no idea what I’m doing?" If that thought sounds familiar, welcome to the club—a not-so-exclusive group of people dealing with Imposter Syndrome. Over 70% of us experience it at some point, so it’s way more common than you think.

What’s wild is that Imposter Syndrome doesn’t discriminate. Whether you’re a CEO, a student, or a stay-at-home parent, this sneaky mindset can creep in, making you second-guess your competence despite all evidence to the contrary. In this blog, I'm diving into the nuts and bolts of Imposter Syndrome—what it is, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to nip it in the bud.

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern where you doubt your accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Here’s the kicker: it’s not based on actual incompetence. In fact, it’s often the high-achievers and perfectionists who struggle the most.

Psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes first coined the term in the 1970s after studying high-achieving women who consistently felt like their success was due to luck or timing rather than their skills. And while it’s not a clinical diagnosis, Imposter Syndrome is deeply rooted in the way we think, feel, and interpret our experiences.

What Does Imposter Syndrome Look Like?

Picture this: You land your dream job or get accepted into a prestigious program, and instead of celebrating, you think, "This must’ve been a mistake. I probably slipped through the cracks."

Here are some common signs you might be dealing with Imposter Syndrome:

Attributing success to luck or external factors.
Feeling like you’ve fooled people into thinking you’re competent.
Overworking to compensate for perceived inadequacy.
Downplaying achievements or brushing off compliments.

Sound familiar? Now let’s explore why this happens in the first place.

Why Do We Feel Like Imposters?

1. Family Dynamics

Our family upbringing plays a massive role in shaping how we view ourselves. If you grew up in an environment where achievement was emphasized, you might equate your worth with what you do, not who you are.

Parents who oscillated between praise and criticism could have sent mixed signals about your abilities. For instance, getting a 98 on a test might have been celebrated, but with the nagging question, "What happened to the other two points?" (this was an actual response from one of my client's parents....brutal)

Another scenario? You might’ve been labeled “the smart one” in the family, which created an unrealistic expectation that everything should come easily. So when you hit a challenge, it felt like proof that you weren’t smart after all.

2. Societal Pressures and Gender Norms

Let’s zoom out to societal influences. In individualistic cultures like the U.S., success is often tied to independent achievement. Women, in particular, face unique challenges. We’re socialized from a young age to be “good girls.” As adults, this can translate into perfectionism and fear of failure.

Ever heard of the double bind for women in leadership? Assertive men are called confident; assertive women are called "b*tchy." These mixed messages make it even harder for women to own their success.

3. The Dunning-Kruger Effect

The Dunning-Kruger Effect explains why Imposter Syndrome often hits experts the hardest. When you’re just starting to learn something, you might feel overly confident because you don’t yet realize how much you don’t know. But as you become more skilled, you gain awareness of all the things you still don’t know, which can lead to self-doubt.

It’s a classic case of “the more you know, the less you feel like you know.”

The Science Behind Imposter Syndrome

There’s actual brain science that explains why we get stuck in these feelings of inadequacy.

Negativity Bias

Our brains are hardwired to focus on negative experiences. Evolutionarily, this made sense—avoiding threats kept us alive. But in today’s world, it means we’re more likely to ruminate on failures and ignore our wins.

Hormones and Emotional Memory

Research shows that women’s brains are particularly attuned to emotional memories. We’re more likely to internalize negative feedback or experiences, which can amplify feelings of self-doubt.

Social Comparison

Our brains are constantly scanning for how we measure up to others. Unfortunately, comparison is often skewed. We compare our behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s highlight reel, which only reinforces our insecurities. This is only amplified with social media use.

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Now that we’ve unpacked the causes, let’s talk solutions. It’s all about rewiring your thoughts and breaking the cycle of self-doubt.

1. Name Your Inner Critic

One of my favorite strategies is to personify your inner critic. Give it a name and personality—something like “Negative Nancy,” the clipboard-wielding supervisor who never has anything nice to say.

By externalizing your critical voice, you can create distance from it and recognize that those thoughts aren’t facts.

2. Reframe Your Negative Self-Talk

Start by writing down your self-doubts. Then challenge them. For example:

Negative Thought: I only got that promotion because no one else applied.
Reframe: I got that promotion because I’ve consistently delivered results and demonstrated leadership skills.

This process helps retrain your brain to see the full picture, not just the flaws.

3. Track Your Wins

Keep a “wins journal” where you log your accomplishments—big and small. This isn’t just for bragging rights; it’s a practical tool to counteract the negativity bias. When self-doubt creeps in, look back at your list and remind yourself of what you’ve achieved.

4. Adopt a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck popularized the idea of a growth mindset: the belief that abilities can be developed through effort and learning. Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, view them as stepping stones to growth.

If you feel self-doubt or uncertainty, it’s not necessarily a sign you’re unqualified. It’s often an indicator that you’re learning and stepping outside your comfort zone. Growth can only exist with a little bit of discomfort.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If the answer is no, it’s time to change your inner dialogue. Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer someone else.

Final Thoughts

Imposter Syndrome is the perfect storm of perfectionism, self-doubt, and negative self-talk. But here’s the thing: those thoughts are just stories we tell ourselves. And stories can be rewritten.

By naming your inner critic, reframing your self-talk, and keeping track of your accomplishments, you can start to quiet that voice of self-doubt. Over time, you’ll begin to see yourself not as a fraud but as someone who's fully capable and deserving of your success.

Remember: Feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean you are one. It just means you care. And that’s a good thing.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to explore it further, let’s connect—I’d love to help you tackle Imposter Syndrome head-on.